It's You I like

I didn't watch much PBS growing up, so I wasn't as influenced by anything like Caliou or Mr. Rogers. I watched Room Raiders, FRIENDS, and the Real World. I didn't watched stuff that was for my age. But, my husband and I recently decided to introduce the original Mr. Roger's Neighborhood to our daughter because she loved Daniel Tiger so much. We wanted to know the genesis of the characters and philosophy of the show, but we also wanted to expose her to something new besides Elmo (any other moms out there feel me on this?)

My husband kicked it off slowly with some of the most famous clips of the show. On the second or third clip he pulled up, he paused it before anything had happened and said, "This one is going to make you cry". For some reason when I heard Mr. Rogers sing, "It's you I like, it's not the things you wear, not the way you do your hair, but it's you I like" to a little boy bound to a wheelchair, I lost it. Of course I did; I'm known to be the sap in our house. Once again my husband read me like a book, but for days that scene stuck with me.

I found myself humming the tune while I made dinner and I would sing it to our daughter, at least the words I could remember. A couple of nights later I woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and the majority of that song was stuck in my head. I thought, "How random. It's not like I play that song in the house or in the car all day long". I went back to bed just thinking how funny it was that I had that song stuck in my head. Well, it kept happening for about 3 more nights and one morning while making breakfast I was thinking to myself, "Why is this song stuck in my head only at night?"

I don't know what you believe about God or if He speaks, but I believe and put my hope in the doctrine that the Holy Spirit speaks to His children not because they're better than anyone else, but because His voice is what brings life and freedom to our hearts. In that moment of me wondering what the deal was with this song, I felt the Holy Spirit say to me, "I'm singing that to YOU". I lost it. And when I told my husband that God was singing that song to me, I lost it again. But this time I didn't cry because it was a sweet moment like with the boy in the wheelchair. I cried because deep down, I knew I was loved. My husband has demonstrated unconditional love to me. I have felt the unconditional love of Jesus through His forgiveness in my life. I cried because I didn't feel LIKED. I mean, I've felt appreciated, but I didn't believe I was likeable.

I wanted to write about so many things: being a mom, being a wife, insecurities about weight and what I've done to get healthy; but I felt it was all going to fall flat and just be static among every other thing I have personally read about those topics. This isn't a cheerleader "YOU'RE SO GREAT" story, but it's also not a "Stop screwing up and get your crap together" story either. This is me telling you that you can stop working so hard to be the best; you can rest. You don't have to feel defeated (again); you can rest. You don't have to feel like a failure at trying to be it all or do it all; you can REST. And not the self-care, put a face mask on, and drink some wine rest; the kind of rest in knowing that you're enough right where you are and your soul (your mind, will, and emotions) can breathe and agree that YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

"It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear,
It's not the way you do your hair--
But it's you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you--
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys--
They're just beside you.

But it's you I like--
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself,
It's you, it's you I like."

Those words brought freedom to me and I pray that through this, you hear a still, small voice in your heart telling you how much He LIKES you. You're not just appreciated for what you bring to the table or what you accomplished before 30; you're liked and loved because of who you are aside from those things. It's you He likes.

-Shelby Contreas

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