Faith It

Confession: I have been struggling with my faith. For the past few months God has been showing me a lot of the great things that He has in store for my future, but I have been majorly doubting it all. ****Like ummmm--- are you sure that you want ME? Are you sure that I can do this? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? **** I have been studying John for the last week or so, and I came across this:

So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe.
— John 10:24-25

Legit. Slap in the face. So many times, after God has already shown me his plan, I beg Him to show me his plan. ***Like - for real this time, Jesus.*** After reading that verse, I felt so convicted. I AM THE JEW! This is how our conversations go:

Amaris: Hey, Jesus. Would you mind just giving me a little hint of what you want me to do?
Jesus: Okay. Yeah. I want you to move to St. Louis.
Amaris: Ummmm. Jesus. Can I have another hint? I promise I’ll listen. I just want to be sure that you said St. Louis and not Paris.
Jesus: Move to St. Louis.
Amaris: Oh. I mean - are you sure, though? St. Louis? The one with the blizzardy winters and sweltering summers?
Jesus: Yep. That one.
Amaris: Okay.

Amaris *three weeks later*: About that St. Louis thing... Are you sure?
Jesus: “I TOLD YOU, AND YOU DON’T BELIEVE.

I'm working on it, okay? 

As I was studying my Bible today, I saw something that I have never seen before. John 20 is about the Resurrection of Jesus. At this point in scripture, Jesus is no longer in the tomb and both Peter and Mary Magdalene have assumed that someone has stolen Jesus' body. Jesus has just appeared to Mary:

14 Having said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. 15 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!
— John 20

A little later in the chapter, Jesus appears to the Disciples:

19 Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” 20 When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.
— John 20

And a little later, Jesus appears to Thomas:

25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.
27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!
— John 20

Mary needed to hear Jesus to believe. The disciples needed to see his hands and his side to believe. Thomas needed to feel the scars to believe. I LOVE THIS!!!!!!! God is a personal God, and He reveals Himself to us in a way that is unique to each of us. He created us, so He knows the way in which we learn best. When you are lacking in faith, don't be afraid to ask God for what you need. He has proved to us in scripture that He will come to us in a special way, and, as a result of that, our faith will be increased.

Sometimes our thinking is so dichotomous that we assume that if there is an inkling of doubt, it completely erases our belief. I love Mark 9:24.

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!

In one breath he was saying that he believed and in the next he was asking God to help him with his doubts. I love that. It may not be that you're lacking faith to believe that Jesus is who He says that He is, but it may be that you are lacking faith that He will do what He said that He will do. Either way, ask God for confirmation and then take Him at his Word! Faith moves the heart of God.

xo

Amaris