Originally Posted March 4, 2015
I have made terrible decisions in the last year. *Ahem. Let's pause for a second.* TERRIBLE DECISIONS!
Some of the decisions I have made have been a result of me unconsciously playing the victim card, but most of the disastrous decisions I have made have been a result of not being where I needed to be with Jesus. Time and time again I made choices to alienate myself from God's presence. That was unbelievably hard to do when God's Spirit is all I've ever known. I struggled with knowing that even when I failed miserably, God STILL loved me. That was difficult for me to comprehend, and that knowledge made me seriously uncomfortable. I was even more baffled by the fact that things in my life were still miraculously working for my good... Things that undeniably had God's name written all over it. It was almost like God saying, "I can't quit you."
There were two specific points in the last five months when my life came crashing down. I didn't know how the pieces would come together again, and to be quite honest, I didn't even want the pieces to be mended. I was just done. Even in my darkest moments, God was still there. One day I got desperate and had one of those *close your eyes, open the Bible and point* moments. Naturally I opened my Bible to Hosea. Hosea only contains fourteen chapters, so I decided to start with chapter one. What I found BLEW. MY. MIND. In my little apartment, with tears streaming down my face, I learned that:
God is longing to redeem the victimizations in our life and the results of our own poor choices.
You know those things that happened to you that you had no control over? He can use those. You know those STUPID decisions you made that had horrific outcomes? He can make that work for your good. Even when you turn away from Him... Even when you pursue other lovers, He extends grace and mercy towards you.
Seriously - what an incredible God we serve! How is it possible to continuously hurt God's heart and still be desperately wanted by Him?
The beautiful thing about the book of Hosea is that I learned that God isn't just waiting for us to come home; He is actively pursuing us. I truly believe that once we recognize just how much He loves and desires us, we will willingly choose to be His eternally.
Hosea 2:19 says "And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord."
What a beautiful promise from God. It's never to late to turn to Him and accept the love that he has been longing to freely give you. He wants to redeem your life. You will never, ever be fulfilled if Christ isn't at the center of your life. You will search for things to fill you, but you will turn up empty, confused and depressed every single time. Only God can fit the mold of the void in your life. You have purpose. God wants to use You for His kingdom. Let Him in. Get to know Him. Allow Him to be Yours forever. He won't quit you.